Manifesto: What It’s Like to Not Be Able to Spell
by Douglas B.
Not being able to spell is very frustrating. Sending a text, email, or writing a message can be frustrating. Trying to figure out how to say something in a way so you don’t have to use words that you know you can’t spell, or having to stop and go to Google and say the word, see the word, write it down. Then go back to what you’re writing, hoping that your thought is still in your mind. Sometimes when I see the word, I think, “I should have known that” and sometimes I think I would have never gotten that in a million years! Sometimes even copying the word from my phone to what I’m writing, I have to go letter by letter. Sometimes I can group three to four letters at a time.
Even right now, I am lost on my original thought. It seems like the more I have to write, the harder it gets. My mind is going in many different ways: 1) trying to stay with my thoughts; 2) spelling the words; 3) rewording my thoughts to keep it simple; 4) thinking of words I have already written, debating in my mind if I have spelled them right…maybe I should have spelled it this way or that way.
If you look at what I have already written, they are small words, use of same words over and over again. I have so many thoughts and so much to say. The problem is getting it from my head to the paper. In English you have rules, but you have exceptions to the rule. You have ph that sounds like /f/, gh can sound like /f/. Silent t’s. How is a t silent? You have words like quinoa (definitely had to look that up). How does that word spelled that way be said like that?
Just when I think I’m making progress, I try to text my daughter or son and think my spelling has gotten worse. Is my problem a learning disability, or is it anxiety, or a combination of the two? Or something totally different! As I’m reading, my mind is debating, “Is that this word or is it that word?” According to the rules, it could be this word, but if you’re applying exceptions, it could be that word. All of this is going on as I’m reading and trying to understand what I’m reading. Welcome to my mind!